Listicles · PhD Life · Princess Life · Uncategorized

If Disney Princesses were PhD Students

Each and every Disney Princess is capable of putting in the dedication and effort required to earn her PhD. So if their dreams were to finish grad school, what would their theses be on?

Snow White – Materials Science and Engineering.

Based on her life at 14, which leaves a lot of time to grow and have her interests change before the typical age of entering graduate school (looking at you Princess Leia), Snow would likely get sick of cleaning up after seven little men pretty quickly. But channeling the inventiveness of real-life women who were looking to improve the efficiency of the tasks they were expected to do (and came up with a few handy things like windshield wipers, Kevlar, and solar-heated homes), Snow White would set out to study materials and their various cleaning properties. Who knows, she might even patent a robot besides the Roomba (also invented by a woman) that whistles while it works!

Cinderella – Clinical Psychology.

Her kindness and her own childhood experiences would prepare Cindy well for researching and providing therapy for her royal subjects, particularly those in foster care. Taking classes would give her knowledge of forms of care to prescribe other than befriending mice or expecting a fairy godmother. I just hope she’s more punctual with her clinical appointments by the time she graduates than she was with her the stroke of midnight.

Aurora – Neuroscience.

Specifically, she would study the still unanswered questions of why humans need sleep and how consciousness works during slumber. This would allow her to better defend her everyday arguments for why cursing the entire kingdom with 100 years of slumber was actually GOOD for everyone. She could also run studies on the neuronal activation patterns of true love’s kiss which I’m sure Prince Philip would happily volunteer for.

Ariel – Anthropology.

This little mermaid has always been fascinated by humans and would have a hard time settling in on ONE question or even just a few to answer with her dissertation. But she did seem particularly keen on fire and all its causes and consequences, although incorporating that into a likely career in museum curation (she’s already got gadgets and gizmos aplenty) might be a little difficult. Nevertheless, I’d love to see her take on an interactive exhibit about man’s red flower.

Belle – Comparative Literature.

This beauty’s obsession with stories and faraway places isn’t focused on any one time period or even language (the tale of Aladdin is rumored to be one of her favorites though). Reading through the entire library in the castle she shares with Beast would give her a voluminous head start on the adventure of earning her doctorate.

Jasmine – Economics.

She wanted to know how the people outside of her palace walls lived so she’d have to pick a program that allows for in-depth field work. This, coupled with Jasmine’s responsibilities as a sultana (I just learned a new word), makes studying economic theories a good fit. She’d learn how to determine how her policy decisions would affect the economy. This would help her devise better welfare programs than stealing bread and apples.

Pocahontas – Environmental Policy.

Protecting the natural environment is of utmost importance to this daughter of a village chief. Researching the effects of deforestation on ecosystems around the globe and the effectiveness of various grassroots organizations would probably be her choice of dissertation topic. I can see the title now – We are All Connected To Each Other: In a Circle, in a Hoop that Never Ends – because all good titles have colons.

Mulan – Political Science.

Excellent army generals are often appointed as higher-ups in government, and Mulan would definitely be my choice for Secretary of Defense. After years of researching women’s roles in government and military decisions, maybe picking up a law degree along the way, she’d have a few more diplomatic tricks up her sleeve than using fireworks as her weapon of choice. And she could pave the way for proving that women aren’t “too temperamental” to lead an army.

Tiana – Biochemistry.

Besides earning an MBA, Tiana would realize that gaining a better understanding of the chemistry of food and how humans enjoy it would be the next best thing for growing the success of her restaurants. With a working knowledge of the science of digestion, I wonder if she’d ever put frog legs on the menu.

Merida – Aerospace Engineering.

Stemming from her passion for archery, Merida would likely have an interest in other flying objects like planes and spaceships. Plus, it’s a field that has a lot of barriers to break – for women, the speed of sound, the speed of light, etc. She’d be in the thick of developing military technology as well, which would pair well with her experiences dealing with the other clans.

Rapunzel – Physics and Astronomy.

Despite the wealth of knowledge and skills that she accumulated in her years in her tower (somehow with only a few books and a lot of craft supplies at her disposal), what fascinated Rapunzel the most were the stars. Naturally, her new dream would be to study the forces that control everything from her hair’s incredible strength to the creation of “balls of gas, burning billions of miles away”, to quote one of Disney’s most philosophical characters. She might even win a few scientific images contests with her artistic inclinations.

Moana – History.

All she knows is that she is descended from voyagers and I’d bet ten coconuts that she wants to learn a little bit more about her people. Her persistence and curiosity would serve her well in navigating through the literature on Polynesian History and Culture to write an impressive dissertation. She would probably have to find a new advisor besides Maui though – who knows what the department policy on having a demi-god as a committee member would be?

What discipline do you think these twelve leading ladies would choose? Comment below with which ones you agree with most!

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